Dear Lady Fluffy Beaver
I have a bra question. I am a young lady with the kind of boobs that I could use for my own pillows at night. They’re ginormous. Don’t get me wrong, I love them and I don’t need your advice on shrink rays or anything. What I do want to know is where do I get a hold of the front-clasp bra that the women in romance novels always wear?
I mean, I’ve got a new boyfriend who can’t wait to get my top off but I worry that he’ll get so confused by my bra clasp that he’ll get bored and give up. Can you tell me where I can get one of those front-clasp bras that my favorite heroes can undo with one hand?
Ah, I have a Fluffy Beaver medical term for your problem, or more to the point, the problem you have encountered by reading your naughty novels: sheerbloodystupiditis.
Don’t get me wrong, Lady Fluffy Beaver warms her fur on the steaminess of erotic love scenes but she also knows that the average arrogant romance hero would develop an aneurism if confronted with a quadruple hook-back-bra on a busty lady. In fact, the average hero would probably get out his mighty sword and sunder the item of clothing in two or just give up your nirvana puffs all together. The first, as anyone who’s watched Law & Order will tell you, ends only in tears. The second ends in you looking at the ceiling while he goes at you like a chipmunk (evil little beasties) wondering where you put the charger for your vibrator.
My advice is for you to do it Lady Fluffy Beaver style by unleashing your heavenly pillows ahead of time.
Yours in Fluffiness