Dear Lady Fluffy Beaver,
I hate Valentine’s Day, I hate it like Tony Abbott hates gay couples getting married. But the thing is, my boyfriend (Dave) loves it. Last year he got me a chocolate fountain and a personalized romance novel. I found the personalized romance novel touching but a little weird because my boyfriend selected Pride and Prejudice and both of us are over six-feet and heavy-built leathermen (we met at Southeast Leatherfest).
When my boyfriend unwrapped the can opener I’d bought him, we almost broke up.
What should I do?
Yours in VD confusion,
I feel your pain, Cupid is stupid, that’s why the LFB likes to hit it and quit it, just so she doesn’t have to deal with crap like V-Day gifts.
Still, it sounds like you’ve found your ideal leather-lover in Dave and it would be a shame to screw that up just because of poxy V-Day.
Remember that we often give the gifts that we would like to receive ourselves, so why don’t you wow Dave with a personalized romance novel too? I’m partial to Pirates of Desire. Yarrrr, be my willing prisoner of passion or it’s off to the poopdeck for you!
Sorry, got carried away.