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Lie, Lay and Laid

The explosive merkin pack.

The explosive merkin pack.

Lie, lay and laid. (Knowing the difference may get you laid)

Holy squeaking bat-farts some English verbs are tricky. The key to selecting the right verb for the right action is to remember that it’s lie (present) lay (past) when talking about getting horizontal while it’s lay (present) laid (past) when talking about putting an object down. Examples:

“Lie down and I’ll deflower you.” “Yesterday I lay down and when I woke someone had deflowered me.”

“Lay down the explosive merkin and nobody has to die!” “I gingerly laid the merkin on the desk, hoping it wouldn’t explode.”