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Sarah Talks Vajazzling

Vajazzling — it’s one of those words that I could say again and again, like an annoying toddler, because it’s a cool word. But what does it mean? Do you know what vajazzling is?

I attended a party recently where the topic came up. Okay, I brought the topic up because we were talking about getting our bikini lines waxed and it seemed like a logical progression in the conversation. That’s why I love my friends, we talk about this kind of stuff all the time without embarrassment.

Anyhoo, here is the definition of vajazzling according to Wiktionary:

A cosmetic treatment in which jewels are placed on a woman's vulva and/or pubic area. The area must first be waxed—a Brazilian.

This definition pleased me, mostly because it allowed me to finally figure out which part was the vulva. In another post  (The Only Vulva in the House) I wrote about how my seven-year-old son came home from school and informed me that he knew that I had a vulva.

Anyway, here’s a picture to demonstrate vajazzling.

And no, unfortunately, the abs and butt don't come with the vajazzling. You must bring your own.

Of course, there are many designs, from the extreme to the more delicate...

But vajazzing isn’t merely decorating your hoo-haa with pretty crystals. No! You can decorate your hoo-haa with so much more. Adornments include:

Feathers...

There are various design templates for vajazzling with feathers as well.

Why not try the Carnivale?

Adorning your hoo-haa with feathers is probably not recommended for those planning a holiday in which a Bikini will be worn – unless you’re open to sharing your prettiness with onlookers.

Fur...

This one has me confused. Isn’t the reason we pour hot wax onto our girly bits and then rip our pubic hairs out by the roots so that we don’t have any furry bits?

Mind you, I am pretty sure that this is not an accurate depiction of the fur kind of vajazzle. I could be wrong, but it’s just a hunch.

And for the men? Why should they be left out? They have what’s called penazzling. Yep, another great name. Unfortunately (well, maybe not) I couldn’t find any pictures of penazzling that wouldn’t require me to change the rating on the entire blog – but you can use your imagination. The same rules apply—a good Brazilian prior to the bejewelling.

For those who don’t want to vajazzle, they can apply a temporary tattoo called (you guessed it) a twattoo or a vatoo.


Of course, you can always either trim your way to romance, using various stencils that will allow you to 'trim the bush' into a particular shape...

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...or you can dye your pubic hair (and perhaps trim as well) if you so wish. Who wouldn't like hot pink or orange pubes?

But before you get all turned off by the above, spare a thought as to how women used to 'manicure' themselves in the past.

In the 16th Century, women would grow their pubic hair long and decorate it with bows. Nice.

In ancient Rome, women would get rid of the hair using a pumice stone, various chemicals and even fire. Suddenly waxing doesn’t seem so bad.