Dear Lady Fluffy Beaver.
I’m writing to you about a sensitive issue. In fact, it’s a really sensitive issue. My wife, the saint I married thirty years ago, has just told me that she hates my pants and I don’t know what to do. Now, I like my pants but according to her they give me a (and I quote) ‘moose knuckle’.
I don’t know about you, but I’ve never heard about any ‘moose knuckle’ before, but as far as I can gather it’s got something to do with my inseam riding a little high between my prairie oysters.
My daddy always told me that you have to keep things separated down there or risk being tempted by the devil but I can’t get what my wife said out of my mind. What should I do?
Well, firstly you need a sex change because if you read what was on the box, you’d see I only give advice to discerning ladies.
However, we lady beavers always have room for gentlemen and my heart was panged by your problem.
As I see it, your lady love has issue with the bifurcation in you wranglers but NOT with the separation of your prairie oysters. And yes, you should be scared of the devil. He’s watching you every minute. In fact, he’s in your pants, waiting for you to by worn down by the nadger pinch that no doubt haunts you daily.
Never fear, I have a solution to your problem. Allow your lovely lady to buy you some looser jeans BUT only on the condition that you can wear boxer shorts pulled up to underneath your armpits, thus creating the necessary separation that will keep Jesus and his angels happy.
Yours in Fluffiness