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Lady Fluffy Beaver’s Tips For Coming Out As A Feminist

Dear Lady Fluffy Beaver

My friend wants me to come out as a feminist but I’m shy. How can I come out in a quiet way?

Yours truly,

Painfully shy


Dear Painfully shy

First of all, as LFB always says, life is an exciting vag-venture and way too short and precious to waste with worrying about being shy.

Second, Feminism, love it or go back to not having the right to vote (or the right to equal pay) or having a voice to protest when some gynotician (a politician who feels more qualified than women and their doctors to make women's health care decisions) gets mouthy about your uterus while mounting his soapbox.

Third, there’s lots of quiet ways to celebrate your Feminist Coming Out Day. You can slap on a vadge-badge and let your custom-made felt vulva badge do the talking. Let the Goz be the wind beneath your friend’s feminist wings, give her a copy of Feminist Ryan Gosling: Feminist Theory (as Imagined) from Your Favorite Sensitive Movie Dude. In between gazing at the Goz, she can have her feminist spirits uplifted by messages such as ‘Hey girl. I would like to blow up the patriarchal dialectic that traps us in a constant struggle for dominant subject-hood. But I think you should do the honours’.

As for the LFB, ever since I was called a femonazi I like to throw on my jackboots and dance on the heads of misogynists. I wear my iPod and turn it into a full workout. Look out for my new exercise video in stores soon!

Yours in feminist solidarity,