Dear Lady Fluffy Beaver
I have a pantyhose problem. I love wearing stockings but the problem with stockings is that I get a cold wind up my jaxie, so I have to wear pantyhose. But when I wear pantyhose, my bottom cheeks look like two wrestling sea lions in a fishing net. Help!
My Darling Pantyhose Poser
Never fear! I have just the solution for you! Fake fur knickers are sure to be all the rage one of these days. Get a fake fur muff for your muff and you’ll never have to wear pantyhose ever again. I suggest you go for some kind of neon green fake fur for added sexiness and just to make sure no one ever mistakes your love cheeks for sea lions ever again. Although... you might have to worry about Sea Otters. I hear those little critters like snoozing in the kelp.
Yours in Fluffiness