Rhyll Biest committed several crimes to get herself banged up so she could interview a lawyer. Not only did Anna Clifton get her off the hook for everything, but she totes spilled the beans on the lives of lawyers.
RHYLL: How many years have you worked as a lawyer?
ANNA: Twenty years, before abandoning ship for a life of teaching English literature and writing romance fiction, both of which are much more fun than slogging out contracts and submissions!
RHYLL: What’s the most unusual thing that's happened to you on the job?
ANNA: A client once told me, in all seriousness, that her legal excuse for moving out of her rented house before the end of the lease and refusing to pay her landlord another cent was because of the ghost that was living there!
RHYLL: Tell us a bit of saucy lawyer jargon
ANNA: Lawyers never engage in that kind of smutty talk. They're far too busy and important juggling penal outcomes and trying to get their clients off.
RHYLL: Boom boom! How do lawyers like to unwind after handling briefs all day?
ANNA: Watching television shows featuring lawyers. They're nothing if not narcissistic.
RHYLL: What sort of things do people tell their lawyer?
ANNA: Everything! Lawyers are right up there with the priest in the confessional, but sometimes you wish your clients didn't tell you quite as much as they do.
RHYLL: What’s the best lawyer joke you know?
ANNA: What happens to a lawyer when he takes Viagra? He gets taller.
RHYLL: Snort! Who is the most unusual person you’ve met on the job?
ANNA: Not so much unusual, but an all-time favourite client of mine. I’ll call her Dotty: 89 year-old pack a day gal with a wicked sense of humour and a husky smoker’s voice worthy of Joe Cocker. She’s somehow outlived her husband by twenty years and still lives in the house they raised their children in. Every now and then she needs her will tweaked and on one of my visits to her home I noticed she had a new car in her driveway. Dotty told me she'd crashed the last one speeding. It was red, she explained with her sandpaper voiced delivery and a wink. Red cars were too fast, she assured me. But it was all okay now, she said - she'd traded it in for a white one.
RHYLL. Makes sense to me. What do lawyers dislike?
ANNA: Lies. Thankfully, it doesn't happen too often but clients' lies in particular have a habit of unravelling at awkward moments, like when they're under oath in the witness box. That's when you begin to die the death of a thousand cuts behind the bar table, knowing your client is about to be sliced and diced by the opposing counsel, knowing there's absolutely nothing you can do to stop the carnage from unfolding.
RHYLL: Which celebrity would you like to see cast as a lawyer in a movie?
ANNA: If you're a Doctor Who or The Thick of It fan, you'll understand my choice of rubber-faced Scottish actor, Peter Capaldi, to play a lawyer with dastardly tendencies. No actor I know has a better 'rat-cunning' look than he has. And that accent…!
RHYLL: What does it take to be a good lawyer?
ANNA: The hide of a rhinoceros, a stubborn streak the size of the San Andreas Fault, a healthy dose of rat cunning (see above) and a bulletproof sense of humour. Everything else is just window dressing.
RHYLL: Thank you, Anna! And if you'd like to know more about Anna check out her bio and latest release below.
Anna Clifton writes contemporary romance novels with a special focus on legal eagles and the modern urban family. Her third novel, New Year’s Promise, is out now and her fourth, Making Ends Meet, is due for release through Escape Publishing on 22 June 2015.
From Anna Clifton comes a sweet, emotional, beautiful romance about a man whose life has been derailed and the unexpected woman who can help him get it back on track.
‘It’s for other reasons that I won’t need a nanny beyond a month.’
Twenty-three year old nanny Somer Sullivan has never had a job quite like this one: fix the messed-up, out-of-control life of high-profile artist and thirty-something dad Harry Halligan. But Somer is organised, efficient and not afraid of a challenge.She will do everything Harry needs her to do, including bringing his ex-wife home for good.
‘One month, Harry, and I’ll be out of here.’
Harry Halligan doesn’t want a nanny, but he needs one—he needs Somer. She’s the only one who can reach his troubled daughter, who can bring some measure of peace to his home. But as Somer advances her mission to fix his life, a few things become clear: his ex-wife might not be the answer, and Somer just might be. But Somer is running like hell from something in her own life and hiding in his.
Only one thing is for sure. Harry now has less than a month to make the hardest decision he’ll ever have to make—a decision that will change all of their lives forever.