Ninja Recommended Sneaky Reads

Rhyll Delves into Eight Arms To Hold You

I couldn’t help myself, I had to go there because — were-octopus. Now, Gentle Reader, don’t be confusing this work with the man-love story by Ally Blue (the self-proclaimed Popess of Gay Angst) of the same title. Ally Blue’s work is a mighty tome of 220 pages and, tempted as I was by the thought of 220 pages of tentacle holding and calamari jokes, I went for the shorter option.

Sadly, I felt ripped off as soon as I had to pay $2.99 for a mere twenty pages of octo-love. Since that works out to roughly one cent per page, I was determined to get my one-cent’s worth on every page.

Naturally, I didn’t get it. (Sometimes one just isn’t rewarded for being an optimist.)

So, how was my $2.99 and rabid curiousity about octo-shifters rewarded? A dump-truck load of uninteresting backstory was tipped on my head, the world’s most improbable marriage of convenience ensued (yes, not only does the heroine have sex with the octopus, she marries him in the name of investigative journalism!) and the hot squid action (I’m still a little confused as to whether the hero was an octopus or a squid and I think the writer is too) was thunderingly uninteresting and, had I been a true octo-porn connoisseur, I would have been very disappointed with the single page of octo-action.

And yet, when I read the teaser at the end for another book, It Came in Outer Space, I knew I’d have to read it one day because, well, human–plant love puns!

A lone scientist examining a planet discovers that even plants feel desire, and they aren’t afraid to act on it.

Ooooh, yeah, saucy, lustful plants. You can be sure I’ll share all the juicy human–plant love details here.