Pox Chat Award
Some time in the nineties a phenomenon appeared in naughty novels—heroes and heroines stopped boffing willy-nilly and instead started to put their genitalia on ice for five minutes to conduct the ‘pox chat’. Writers want readers know that our characters aren't plague rats and are responsible enough to practice safe sex, and it also adds a touch of realism to fiction when our lusty hero and heroine have to determine (just like readers do) whether their potential partners might be forked-tongued fibbers riddled with syphilis.
Authors usually accommodate the ‘pox chat’ by inserting (no pun intended) a fabulously awkward hurried conversation somewhere between the first boobie grope and bumping uglies. And we love that. We really do. It’s all socially responsible and heart-warmingly clumsy at the same time. Although…it would be nice to meet a hero or heroine dealing with an STI just for once. Quite frankly, we think it would be refreshing to see just one fricken' heroine in fiction get a cold sore at an inopportune time.
So, readers, embrace the pox chat! Hurl them at us and we’ll select the best pox chat of the year for a suitable prize (perhaps some chocolate-flavoured prophylactics!).