Single Pearl Award
(for improbable descriptions of sex and genitalia)
You all know the well-worn description, the one where a single pearl of man-juice appears on the tip of a mighty thunder stick, signalling the hero’s rampant desire for the heroine. If the word ‘pearl’ were to be suddenly banned from erotica and erotic romance what would we be left with? Little ‘cabbages’ of arousal beading on the end of our hero’s meat popsicle? Little ‘peas’ of man-batter? Perhaps a ‘zucchini ball of desire’? Sadly, we’ll never know.
But how many times have you read about that single perfect pearl drop and thought… Really? Was it really in the exact shape of a pearl? And if so was it more like the freshwater pearls in Auntie Em’s brooch or the cultivated pearls in Great Grandma Flo’s double strand necklace?
Even if you’ve never encountered a ‘single pearl’, we bet you’ve encountered other unlikely descriptions: perfect manscaping in the middle ages, captive heroines who never reek despite the lack of amenities on pirate ships, the amazing absence of morning breath when hero and heroine lock lips after a night out on the soup. We know those delicious improbable descriptions are out there and we want to hear yours…