Taurus

Taurus.jpg

Taurus

Travel in Time: Sarah ‘Sizzling Yoga Pants’ Belle brings us a time-travel horoscope based on all the most famous time-travel stories.

The Time Machine by H.G. Wells: There is a small bird with an excessively annoying chirp that wakes you every morning. Profuse swearing and cursing will not make it go away. In fact, the more you carry on, the harder that bird laughs, until it craps itself all over your car. Treat that bird with the contempt it deserves and hitch a ride with that crazy inventor/Time Traveller dude to last week where you adopt that ravenously hungry cat.