The Ninja Blog

February 14 is...

V-Day is a global movement to end violence against women and girls. You can see their awesome website and organize your own V-Day event here, or just make a donation. We’d love to hear about V-Day events, so please paste a link in the comments section if you spot one or are planning one.

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Valentine’s Day requires no explanation and if Valentine’s Day triggers your gag reflex be our anti-Valentine! We can send each other free anti-Valentine cards, or even pay for some really cool ones, and then we can refuse to hold hands, or listen to (on our own) Billy Bragg’s Valentine’s Day is Over, and (most importantly) not buy really crappy gifts for each other. Hurrah! As official sponsors of F U Valentine’s Day, the Naughty Ninjas are also running a special F U Valentine’s Day competition. Leave a comment and enter the draw to win a prize—it won’t be at all romantic, we promise!

Plus, if you loathe Valentine's Day, you might enjoy reading: The Valentine's Day Disaster by Lori Wilde, The Trouble With Valentine's Day by Rachel Gibson, or Hating Valentine's Day by Allison Rushby.

Or you could stay at home and bake yourself a nice cake, or make a super-satisfying Valentine Voodoo Pincushion (this toy is guaranteed not to break your heart or give you crabs).

How do ninjas celebrate Valentine’s Day? We thought you’d never ask…

Technically, ninjas don’t have hearts, but if they were to lose their heart to someone, they’d celebrate Valentine’s Day by:

  • Throwing their throwing stars into a perfect heart-shaped formation.
  • Rubbing tabi boots together.
  • Practice ‘monkey steals the peach’ together.
  • Testing one another’s ambidexterity.
  • Mixing up ‘bump and bruise’ formula for their loved one.
  • Reading aloud from ‘Ninja Secrets of Invisibility’ and ‘Ninja Mind Control’ to each other.
  • Rubbing sweaty masks together.
  • Playing marbles with the testes of defeated foes.
  • Sharing assassination tips.
  • Holding invisible hands.