Dear Lady Fluffy Beaver, is it okay to twerk? Ever since my nanna taught me how to twerk, I've wanted to twerk everywhere, all day long! But the principal of my private school says twerking is ‘low-class’ and Satan’s way of gaining control of my pelvis. What’s the Fluffy Beaver word on the twerk?
Yours in twerking consternation,
Lady Fluffy Beaver is a big fan of twerking and has been shaking her money-maker like nobody’s business ever since Fergie’s hit My Humps posed the great philosophical question of our time: Whatchya gonna do with all that ass?
I find it sad that a number of schools have declared war on twerking. Why, just last year 33 students from Scripps Ranch High School in San Diego were suspended for using school equipment to make a twerking video.
On a more positive note, rapper Juicy J has offered a $50,000 scholarship for the girl who can twerk the best, so you may just be able to twerk your way to college, Felicity.
Rest assured that Satan will gain control of your pelvis whether you twerk or not, and that twerking can’t possibly be low class because luminaries such as Beyoncé and myself enjoy it.
So continue to twerk that thing like you just don’t care.